It's Sunday morning, and no I'm not at church. Hot husband is coordinating the service this morning (like MC'ing) and Cute Child and I are staying home. There's no Sunday school this month, so it would be like me going and doing nothing but running around outside after my child, kinda useless if you ask me. In that vein, it's much more worthwhile to stay home, write a blog, relax, watch some Veggie Tales, and play with Cute Child.
We've been super busy getting ready for the new kid, (I'm 32 weeks), saying goodbye to 2 more couples that were friends that have moved back to their home countries, and making new friends. We've been budgeting like mad, saving everywhere we can, and praying that Hot Husband's job would make some wise decisions about the new exchange rate, etc. Though they have and we will be getting a bit more every month, if we look at his original contract we are discouraged at what they said they'd do and what they haven't done. We're praying that our landlord doesn't increase the rent in November when our lease comes up. There is an element of stress in our lives in this area, and just typing this out makes me stressed. :(
Moving right along then. . . ;) I spent lots of time yesterday trying to figure out how to make homemade bread in high altitude conditions, with weird yeast and odd flour. Flour here is so confusing. At Nakumatt (the main large grocery store- closest thing we have to WalMart) there is literally an entire wall of an aisle dedicated to different kinds of flour. I kid you not. Ugali flour, Chapati flour, Doughnut flour, Bread flour, White flour, etc... *sigh. It is not uncommon to see Muzungus (white people) standing in the aisle, blankly staring at all the options, confused, flabbergasted, and overwhelmed. It's the one thing here that we have lots of choice on.
This may not seem much to anyone else- but- we were at Chandarana (an Kenyan Indian grocery store, smaller then Nakumatt but with much more specialized items, and a great selection of imported chocolate- oh and the novelty, bagels!) the other night and they had my favorite cereal. Post, Banana Nut Crunch. Hot Husband brought me a box home after his trip to the States in June, I brought a box back last Christmas. I love it that much. When I saw it, I literally gasped, and did a whoop of joy! I think the Kenyans around me all jumped. I then proceeded to grab 4 boxes, at 495sh a box. This is about 7USD, each. I thought maybe I'd regret spending so much on this cereal, but honestly I don't, not at all. I've enjoyed every single bowl of goodness since then. Sometimes you just have to go for it, if it's something you love, that's from your home country, you can't put a price on it.
I've been watching my weight pretty closely. With Cute Child I gained 45 pounds. *gasp, I know, you're shocked. Don't be. I lived in Cambridge, and was eating anything I chose- though in moderation, and with plenty of exercise... I still gained a ton. Here there is no convenience food (outside of my lovely new cereal) , and unless you are very focused, it is difficult to exercise as much as at home... And I've not been doing that at all very much. However, I'm right on track to gain 25 this time. :) You have no idea how happy this makes me. I do feel a difference, and it's amazing how differently I am carrying this baby compared to Cute Child. It's fascinating to me. I've also had different aches and pains then I had the first time around. I'm trying to stretch more,
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Our power went out on Sunday morning while writing the above, and stayed off the majority of the day. It's now Tuesday and I'm at home, Hot Husband out of town for a few days for work, and I'm feeling particularly down and melancholy. In fact I'm downright weepy. God, please say this is hormonal!? I went and tried to hang out with people today, but it just made me feel more of an alien in a strange land. It feels like sometimes, I hit a wall of 'i really don't belong here'. It's frustrating. Though I've never been this long out of my home country in one fell swoop (we're coming on 7.5 months), you'd think I would be fine! It's not like I'm living in rural africa, or in a tiny village! I haven't been a victim of violent crime, or even crime (minus my Muzungu neighbor who appears to have put his cat off on us, and just gave away 2 plants i was pretty certain I had bought from him- and already given him the money for this morning)... I should be fine! But - today - I am not.
I'm worried about parenting 2 children, transition, how Cute Child will respond to another kid in the house. About not being able to give him all the attention that he needs since I'll have another one to look after. I'm worried that parts of me are disappearing, and that I may not be anyone that I think I am.I'm worried that I'm too American, too loud, talk too much, and am just 'too much' for people here! I'm worried that no one likes me, and that I'll never find a group of people that I really connect with and 'get' me. I'm basically a ball of insecurity. I think I need to go take a walk and listen to some worship music, and get my heart back out of my head, get my spirit communing with His, and get my head back together.
Okay. I'm off to walk.
