John Mark McMillan is a worship leader that has inspired and led Hot Husband and I into worship many times, and we've never heard him live. Just from his recordings. One of the reasons is because his songwriting is very raw, real, and we can relate. He has a blog that I link to here, and his latest post I will paste below. I found it oh so true.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
they don't make'm like this any more
The ability to genuinely connect with a person's heart and draw them into a real-time conversation with God seems to have become a dying art form. It's just not something you can learn at a conference or program into your set. It comes from a deep well and is cultivated over years. That means it's time consuming and expensive. Maybe that's why it's become so rare. Our cheap and easy "just add water" worship programs probably serve a purpose, but I can't help but wish there were more people like this guy on the planet.
Something about this video takes me back to a time when I was less cynical. I hope one day I can make music that does the same thing for people.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Thursday, September 23, 2010
3 weeks
pictures below of me @ 37 weeks pregnant, cute child just 2 years, and hot husband- on a weekend trip into rural kenya. we went hiking at hell's gate, and it ended up being a bit of scaling walls and such. quite the challenge! on the way home i bought about 15 pounds of rhubarb for 7USD on the side of the road. it was a lot of rhubarb! :)
We have 3 weeks, more or less, until our 4th member of the family arrives. What will his name be? What does God have for him? What personality will he have? Will he be a lot like Cute Child? Will he be totally different? Will the labor and delivery go easily? Will Cute Child adjust easily?
My doctor is pleased with my progress, where the baby is, and last week only wanted to see me in 2 weeks time. It's great not being high risk like I was with Cute Child. It's great having a laid back doctor. It's great having babies that descend the way they're supposed to, and I'm praying for an even easier labor and delivery then what I had the first time.
My parents are coming for a visit on the 8th. I'm very excited to see them!
I'm already anticipating the upcoming Christmas holiday in the States. Almost a year has gone by since I've been in my homeland. And yesterday marked the one year anniversary of our arrival here in Kenya. Seems like a dream. I would say it's gone by quickly, but actually, I don't know that it has. It's been good, but definitely challenging.
I've been really struggling with having hired help here. Don't get me wrong, I love Doris. She cleans, she cooks a little, she watches Cute Child. She has started coming to play groups with me, so that I don't have to do so much lifting and chasing after my 2 year old. It's saving my back, and I've been able to sleep much better the last 3 weeks since having her come along, as well as stop getting sick. (I've been on antibiotics, watched closely for chest infection and other infections- strict orders to rest a lot!)
But there are downsides to having help. There is guilt. Guilt that you aren't spending enough time with your child. Guilt that maybe you are too lazy to clean your own house. Guilt that you should be a better wife and mother. Guilt. Then there is the issue that no matter what, your help never will do things the exact way that you want them done. She will sometimes think that you don't really want what you just asked for and do things her way anyways. She will sometimes not understand your language and speech and instead of question you, will just do what she thinks is right or what she thinks you might have you said anyways. You will have to share a house with another woman for many hours in the day, when sometimes you just want to be alone.
I sometimes wonder if I will be able to do this in the States. Will I be a good mother even without her doing my dishes and cleaning my house? Am I a good mother now even with her doing my dishes and cleaning my house? Am I okay?
Last year when we arrived here there were so many things that struck me. Right away I realized it wasn't as nice as South Africa, but by no means living in Mozambique. I realized that the grocery store had so little of what I was used to, and that my entire style of cooking was going to have to change. Within 1 month I lost 6 pounds, and we all had stomach flu from adjusting to the bugs! I remember walking out of the airport, around 10pm at night, and there were palm trees everywhere- this really surprised me, since we are over 6,000 feet elevation. Hot Husband and I walked everywhere those first few months, taking random taxi rides here and there. Everything was in major drought, and immediately I had to get used to the power cuts, in a tiny sparsely furnished apartment with a 13 month old, and no friends to call on. It quickly got busier, and we made friends, but those first couple months were filled with so much transition, so many changes. What an adventure!
I have no idea what is next. Hot Husband may get into a prestigious program in DC, he may not. If not, we are totally not sure what is coming up for us. We both look forward to the new thing, but to be honest, even if the new thing is still here in Nairobi, we're okay with staying here a few more years. We are not feeling antsy about being here, and are okay. Yeah, sure there are ridiculous cultural things we face, and it can get lonely, being away from so many friends and family. But at the end of the day, the bonuses of having an okay family/work life balance, copious amounts of sunshine and outdoor play, amazing adventure travel at our doorstep (next year we are planning a lot more trips- including Hot Husband climbing Mt Kenya, and possibly Kilamanjaro), and fresh cheap homemade smoothies every morning in our kitchen... These things are so wonderful and we are really enjoying life here.
They say the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, for us, living here, it just depends on what part of the fence we are walking along...
We have 3 weeks, more or less, until our 4th member of the family arrives. What will his name be? What does God have for him? What personality will he have? Will he be a lot like Cute Child? Will he be totally different? Will the labor and delivery go easily? Will Cute Child adjust easily?
My doctor is pleased with my progress, where the baby is, and last week only wanted to see me in 2 weeks time. It's great not being high risk like I was with Cute Child. It's great having a laid back doctor. It's great having babies that descend the way they're supposed to, and I'm praying for an even easier labor and delivery then what I had the first time.
My parents are coming for a visit on the 8th. I'm very excited to see them!
I'm already anticipating the upcoming Christmas holiday in the States. Almost a year has gone by since I've been in my homeland. And yesterday marked the one year anniversary of our arrival here in Kenya. Seems like a dream. I would say it's gone by quickly, but actually, I don't know that it has. It's been good, but definitely challenging.
I've been really struggling with having hired help here. Don't get me wrong, I love Doris. She cleans, she cooks a little, she watches Cute Child. She has started coming to play groups with me, so that I don't have to do so much lifting and chasing after my 2 year old. It's saving my back, and I've been able to sleep much better the last 3 weeks since having her come along, as well as stop getting sick. (I've been on antibiotics, watched closely for chest infection and other infections- strict orders to rest a lot!)
But there are downsides to having help. There is guilt. Guilt that you aren't spending enough time with your child. Guilt that maybe you are too lazy to clean your own house. Guilt that you should be a better wife and mother. Guilt. Then there is the issue that no matter what, your help never will do things the exact way that you want them done. She will sometimes think that you don't really want what you just asked for and do things her way anyways. She will sometimes not understand your language and speech and instead of question you, will just do what she thinks is right or what she thinks you might have you said anyways. You will have to share a house with another woman for many hours in the day, when sometimes you just want to be alone.
I sometimes wonder if I will be able to do this in the States. Will I be a good mother even without her doing my dishes and cleaning my house? Am I a good mother now even with her doing my dishes and cleaning my house? Am I okay?
Last year when we arrived here there were so many things that struck me. Right away I realized it wasn't as nice as South Africa, but by no means living in Mozambique. I realized that the grocery store had so little of what I was used to, and that my entire style of cooking was going to have to change. Within 1 month I lost 6 pounds, and we all had stomach flu from adjusting to the bugs! I remember walking out of the airport, around 10pm at night, and there were palm trees everywhere- this really surprised me, since we are over 6,000 feet elevation. Hot Husband and I walked everywhere those first few months, taking random taxi rides here and there. Everything was in major drought, and immediately I had to get used to the power cuts, in a tiny sparsely furnished apartment with a 13 month old, and no friends to call on. It quickly got busier, and we made friends, but those first couple months were filled with so much transition, so many changes. What an adventure!
I have no idea what is next. Hot Husband may get into a prestigious program in DC, he may not. If not, we are totally not sure what is coming up for us. We both look forward to the new thing, but to be honest, even if the new thing is still here in Nairobi, we're okay with staying here a few more years. We are not feeling antsy about being here, and are okay. Yeah, sure there are ridiculous cultural things we face, and it can get lonely, being away from so many friends and family. But at the end of the day, the bonuses of having an okay family/work life balance, copious amounts of sunshine and outdoor play, amazing adventure travel at our doorstep (next year we are planning a lot more trips- including Hot Husband climbing Mt Kenya, and possibly Kilamanjaro), and fresh cheap homemade smoothies every morning in our kitchen... These things are so wonderful and we are really enjoying life here.
They say the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, for us, living here, it just depends on what part of the fence we are walking along...
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