I'm fairly creative. I love to make things, arrange things, organize things, cut things out, write things down, paint pretty things- I always have flowers on at least one table in the house. (Especially since moving here where I can get 22 roses- I have no idea why they only sell 22 instead of 24- for 150kes, the equivalent of just under $2.00. )
And this is why the layout of my blog bugs me. It bugs me that it's not prettier, more creative. The font, the ... well everything drives me crazy. Which is why I change it up every 4-6 months.
This is why my house bugs me. I'm incredibly blessed to have a house. I know this. I'm blessed to have couches and chairs, and carpets. But the pattern on my couch cushions is the same of one of Bill Cosby's sweaters, and the color of the couches in general is one I would never choose (rust red). I'm a water, earth, sky sort of gal. *sigh.
I have friends who have etsy stores (at least 7 of them just off the top of my head). I have friends who run photography businesses (12 off the top of my head). I have musicians as friends (can't even count how many) who you can actually buy their music on itunes.
This is my lament of the desire to be more creative, and the thousands of excuses of why I am not. We could start with my children and husband being my top priorities and them being extremely all-encompassing. Or how the last 5 weeks I've been sick in bed an average of 3 out of 7 days a week. I could end with how being here in Africa churns the creativity at every moment of stillness- but that unless you have the instrument in your hands (I don't have a piano- and an old beat up one costs at least $1,000USD) the canvas (I can't find any, anywhere!) on your easel, the fabric in your market (Kenya does not have good textiles- outside of the kikoy)... I find it very difficult to church out my creativity.
My prayer tonight:
Father help me to be more creative with what I have around me. Help me to take the leap and prioritize creating things at the risk of other things not getting finished. Help me to see things fresh and anew and help my eyes to not be dulled to the rush of living. Reawaken the creativity inside of me once again...
Amen! Mamas everywhere feel your pain. I know I do. I picked up the pencil just last night and had a rare writing moment (husband leaving a lot lately has helped). I want to say though, that I REALLY hope God answers your prayer. I can feel the desire you have to capture the motion of your current land and society and I very much want to experience Kenya and your family through your art. I can't go to Kenya (doubt we'll ever get to make the trip) and I can't be with you as you raise your kids, but what a thrill to think about the songs/paintings/collages that you could make of it all. Love you and your eye!
ReplyDeletei understand. i do some stuff in spurts and then it is just too busy to get back to them because of all the other demands of life and being a mom. just the little times are nice though. i went a couple years doing almost nothing at all creative, so these small times now are a lot more than then. i have been there with the nothing. i hope you get a little time to steal away and just make something, however small it may feel. it is still there!
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i think even the girl living in San Fran who has access to EVERYTHING feels like this too. K you are more creative than what your continent limits you too. That is why I am sharing this total time suck of a website Pinterest.com with you - it will take you beyond canvas, instruments, and cloth....you are free to be YOU. You might be limited in textiles but they can't take your dance. let the music move you and the creativity with being creative will flow
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